I saw an angel today...

We went to London today to visit with Baby Julia and her family in the Hospital before they head to Toronto this week. Julia will be receiving her Bone Marrow Transplant on March 10th...and we wanted to get a good visit in before they went.

I am amazed at the strength that Charlene shows, and it's a real strength. She is optomistic and hopeful - but not naive. They explained what the doctors have told them -- the risks and concerns. Julia is a very unique case -- she is the youngest baby in Canada to be diagnosed with this form of cancer, and it's very strong. The Doctors have sought out help from Europe and U.S. for some insight into treating her. After her transplant there is a 50% chance that she could get Leukemia again, and they would not treat her a second time - her tiny body couldn't handle it. So they want to do this right.

I watched Charlene today - how she looked at Julia, how she watched her angel play, how she laughed at her silly faces and tiny giggles. I looked around at the cramped room that they had shared for months - just the 2 of them. I thought of the days that they would spend alone in the room, playing, singing, laughing. I thought of Charlene knowing her baby was in pain and not being able to do anything but hold her, wipe her tears and pray that tomorrow would be better. I thought of Julia growing up in a room the size of a bathroom for the majority of the past 8 months. The only sure things in her life were pain, and her Mommy. It took every ounce of strength in my body to not cry.

But then I had to think about what I wasn't seeing;
I wasn't seeing Charlene suffering - I was seeing her enjoying Julia. I wasn't seeing her worrying about what they didn't know - I was seeing her comforted by what they did know. They are headed to Toronto unsure of where they will be staying, unsure of what the next few days or weeks would bring. But very sure that this is the only chance that they have for their little angel to survive. When Julia is in isolation for the months following her transplant - Charlene will have limited visitors, if any. But she wasn't worried about being lonely - her only concern was that her baby would be better. I wasn't seeing a Mother saying "Poor me..." I was seeing a mother saying "She needs me!"

I know we never see our true strength until the hard times come. I have been through a lot in life - but nothing to this degree. I could only hope that I would show even a touch of the strength and courage that I see in Charlene...if I ever had to face such adversity.

And tonight I will give Tim a few extra kisses and hold Garnet a little closer...and be thankful for what I have. Because it's so easy to take for granted things that truly make our lives complete. It's so easy to look past what's right in front of us while we are looking for something more. Until we see how fast it can be taken away...

xo J