~ honest. sincere. embarrassing. funny. with a healthy dose of sarcasm. ~

Friday, November 11

The Case of the Home Depot Widow

I'm not sure how many of you actually read the story about my beautiful roses from my wonderful husband. It was a post in my other blog. I never gave the actual reason because I felt it wasn't that important to share - until now.

That particular time, Garnet was out shopping at Home Depot when he was supposed to be here with Tim - so I could go to a very important Doctor's Appointment. Obviously, he felt horrible for forgetting - and I have forgiven him.

Today, however I am beginning to realize now that hamburgers have been nixed from the diet maybe I'm fighting another love in his life; Home Depot.

8 o'clock this morning Garnet was off to the lovely Depot to look at carpet and who knows what else. With both sets of keys.

I called Home Depot hoping to find someone with a good sense of humour;
"Hi, I'm sure you have many cases of lost husbands wandering around Home Depot and their wives wondering where they are...."

A snotty "What?" was the only response.

I tried to be serious and asked her politely if there was any way for me to get my husband out of Home Depot. "Could you page him out of his dream-like stupor and ask him to return his wife's keys....?"
She sighed rudely and said she'd try. (remind me to give up on my comedy act)

I wouldn't have cared except that I was supposed to be at work a half hour ago.

When that didn't work I decided to walk. I was just going to get Tim's bike when the doorbell rang. There was Garnet's friend, Rob. Ironically, the same friend that hunted him down at Home Depot the first time.

"You have a knack for showing up in time to witness husband of the year, Rob!"

Rob gave me a ride to work. We talked about how Garnet's one track mind might benefit from a little more brains. Garnet called me a 1/2 hour later. I grabbed the phone with a big smirk on my face, while 4 women sat around me laughing waiting to see what was going to happen. Obviously, I have to keep my sense of humour, I do love this man.

"Roses just ain't gonna solve this one, Babe."


Your HUSBAND said...

Well.....what Jessica FORGOT to mention, was that she had taken my keys the day before and left me with hers (she was in a rush). That would be fine, except she has 15lbs worth of functionless key rings, trinkets and ornaments and I HATE trying to stuff them in my jeans pocket. So, I dismantled them and left 10lbs of key paraphernalia in my Escorati.....so then the next morning, guess who forgot to get her mess of keys out of my car? Jessica did.

Then, I leave for the morning before she does and WHAMMO...she can't drive the Neon.

Yes it MUST be my fault...and besides, carnations will work just fine!

Anonymous said...

You guys are hilarious!!This is better than the sit coms!My friend Ruth says a sense of humour is essntial to a good marriage...you have it!!Just to clarify...Garnet do you want Jessi to give you carnations this time?...

Jessi said...

we try mom......

ps. did you click on the "your HUSBAND" link??? ---- he cracks me up :)

Hilsy said...

you guys both crack me up!! you're hilarious!...what am i going to do next year???

Jessi said...

hehehe...we'll make you crazy too!!!!!!!!!