~ honest. sincere. embarrassing. funny. with a healthy dose of sarcasm. ~

Tuesday, April 18

Neighbourly Dilemma

So far, we really like our new neighborhood, and the neighbours as well. The older couple that lives on the other side of the Duplex seems really sweet and we've already had some great conversations over the fence. The other day she reached over the fence and handed me a plant that she had dug out from her garden and said "Here is your first plant for your new garden." Then a few minutes later handed me a few more and told me what they all were. I thought this was so sweet of her, and made me fall in love with the new house even more.

Today I went out to check on my new little plants scattered around my tree -- and to my surprise there were about 10 new ones.

My neighbour had come over - while we were gone - and planted them in my garden......anyone else find this a little strange????

Then - she had the audacity to ask me about it later -- with a little chuckle "oh i thought you wouldn't mind...." (I remained silent, and didn't tell her about my disapproval....)

Hello, I've known you for 2 weeks....and you're helping yourself into my yard, when I'm not home, and planting my garden for me???

Yeah, just a little freaky.


Michelle said...

um, ya. weird. it's hard with old people, sometimes they think they are being so helpful (maybe she thinks you're so busy with the unpacking from the move?), and they think they know what will look best and where.

it would have been much more polite of her to say "i have these plants for you, do you want me to help plant them? where do you want me to put them?" or something like that.

Jessi said...

yeah exactly michelle. that's the thing -- we know she 'means' well.....so we left it for this time but if she does it again we'll say something.

kelly said...

True, she means well, but still kinda freaky! :/
I wonder what our new neighbors will be like. maybe i'll have to be a bit more firm!

vicki said...

wow...I don't have a good feeling about that.A bit too bold and imposing. Let us know how you handle it...

Nosy Neighbour said...

Well then, sorry for trying to be a good neighbour....I cannot believe people like you cannot accept friendly gifts and help from a neighbour.

Your garden looked horrible and I was simply trying to spice it up and make it look nice.

I guess receiving a welcome from a neighbour is unacceptable by your standards.

I will not go into your backyard again without your permission.

P.S. I want my plants back out of your garden.

Jessi said...

yes, i married him for his sense of humour.......really, honestly.

vicki said...

So Garnet won't mind any other old ladies taking over his garden. :) I'll be there soon!!!

Green Thumby said...

Don't even think about it!

Michelle said...

i wanted to add that when we moved into our house, my mother in law wanted to "help", so i gave her a list of things that we really did need help with (cleaning, etc), but she was dead set on planting flowers for us (because, what would the neighbours think!!!), but flowers were wayyy low on our priority list (still are!). we told her many times that we didn't want that.. and when we do, we want to pick out the flowers and where they go, etc (it is our yard, after all!).

so one day, she shows up at our house with all these flowers in tow, and proceeds to plant our gardens for us without our permission. she even puts pesticides/chemicals on them, which is very much against our wishes.

when we tell her that we're upset, she tells us that "michelle shouldn't worry, i did all the planting work, and i can even come once a week to water them". ya, 'cause obviously, i'm an lazy housewife who simply didn't want to do the *work* of planting and watering, and am incompetent if i don't even care about what the neighbours would say!

um, ya, my MIL and i have issues!!

the salmon said...

well, i dont think it sounds like such a big deal to have someone do your gardening for free...but i'm not a gardener yet (i hope to have my first veggie garden this year).

it might have been good to just say something right away like "thanks, but i would really appreciate if you would let me know ahead of time since this is our "first house" and we are really excited to make it our own" or something like that. then if she takes your comment as being rude, she'll at least stay away from your yard in the future. and you can always uproot what you dont like and she will get the point if she sees what you've done to her planting job.

just my 2 cents...a different perspective.

Anonymous said...

i agree, and just be thankful she did all the work and spent the money until you get around to doing it yourself, then you can uproot and change things. and trust me, the neighbours are thankful!

Anonymous said...

hey vicki i wanted to let you know that i got the rocks from jess and they are awesome!!!! thank you a million times over jess and garnet. i owe you bigtime! have you got ride of the few that we left? we didn't have room at the time and i keep telling dan we should go back...i'll call you. thank again!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

i meant "rid"

Anonymous said...

and a "s" on thank would be better, it's to early in the morning for this!

Jessi said...

to "anonymous" -- just be thankful??? are you kidding me? how thankful would you be if someone came into your house and rearranged your furniture? i don't think it's right for anyone to just walk into any back yard they please and plant something. that's ridiculous. and she didn't spend the money - she dug them out of her garden.

and we ARE doing it ourself right now.....i have a whole bunch to plant. i think it's amazingly nice for her to OFFER them -- but not just go in and plant them herself. if you knew about gardening you'd know that you can't just keep uprooting them and transplanting them or they will die. i'll have to wait til next year once they are established.

and i don't know what you mean by 'trust me, the neighbours are thankful'? was that supposed to be rude?

Amanda, as for telling her that; i know that she was meaning well -- and i didn't think it was worth hurting her feelings or causing a rift with our new neighbours right now. that's why i chose to not say anything.

wow, it's amazing what people think is 'acceptable' -- i would never even think about going into someone's yard without them being home -- let alone touching anything!!

Anonymous said...

wow, don't ever get on jess's bad side, she'll get you good!!! actually i was refering to michelle and her mother in law, not you. i agree with you on your neighbour coming in and helping herself to the backyard, that wasn't right. i was saying that michelle should be thankful that her mother in law "helped" her out in a way and maybe she should bite her tongue and just say thanks. i know i wouldn't like it either but in the meantime, get over it! the neighbours get to look at pretty flowers and she didn't have to spend a dime and when she's ready she can uproot them and plant new ones. some things are just not worth arguing over is my opinion!

Jessi said...

defending my opinion is not 'getting you good' but thank you for clarifying who you were talking to. i just assumed that you were commenting on my experience.

Anonymous said...

now that we're all frazzled, i'm sorry for saying 'getting you good', i was only joking. and i knew you were defending your opinion and i respect that. time to talk about something new eh? i've never seen so many comments on one thing! :)

Michelle said...

let's all remember that when all this was going on, i was 7 months pregnant, trying to watch my 20 month old son, move, clean, unpack, and so when MIL asked to help, i gave her a list of things that i actually really really needed help with. i wasn't even expecting her to do the whole list, i was just giving her ideas of what really needed to be done.

so instead, she did something really unimportant, in a way that was disrespectful (chemicals and all), while i had to take care of everything else... hard for a preggo woman to do! if she really and truly wanted to help us, perhaps she could have chosen something off our list?

if she had offered at any other time (last summer, this summer, etc), i would have gladly taken her help.