Losing It

Ironically, although it feels like it some days, this post is not about my mind.

It's about weight. Yep, it's that time of year when we finish a season of stuffing our mouths and loosening our belts, and then say "Shit, I should have had some more self control." Except I also have baby weight to add to that belt. Not fun.

I am tired of hearing 'Oh, don't worry - you just had a baby' because I know that due to my lack of self control and will power I was 20 pounds more than what I wanted to be BEFORE I got pregnant. So now, not only do I have to worry about the 'baby weight' but also the pounds that had crept up on me before that.

I have no excuses. I have a treadmill in the basement that I convinced my husband I needed - instead of a gym membership. Because we live so far out in the middle of nowhere the cost to drive to the gym would have exceeded the monthly membership and I couldn't justify spending that much on a gym. So we bought a treadmill. And might I just add while we are on the subject - did you know that you can use the treadmill for so many other things? Clothes rack, storage shelf and it's a beautiful, inconspicuous focal point in any room. It's great, really.

And yet, with it staring me in the face everytime I go down stairs - I have been willfully avoiding any eye contact with it, whatsoever.

But like so many others in the new year - I decided it was time. And now I have started the routine toward reaching my goal. Eating better and exercising - it definitely sounds so simple. Except it is anything but simple.  I have decided that I am just one of those people that will never get away with eating what I want and not exercising. And the worst part about having to lose this much is that 1-2 lbs a week seems so SLOW when you look at the big numbers.

Almost ten years ago I was in the same boat. Just had a baby, gained weight after I had the baby (who does that!?) and decided that was enough. I went to the gym and lost 50 lbs. It's like I'm living my life on repeat.

Except, I'm not twenty this time. This time - I'm almost thirty. And it's going to be so much different. I have been organizing my closet and found some old pictures from when I was at my goal weight -- I've decided to plaster them around the house so that I can see where I can be. A little bit of healthy incentive. Maybe I should enlarge one and tape it to the door of the fridge. Maybe?

I'll keep you updated on my progress. Whether I am doing well towards my goal -- or completely losing it. (This time, I'm talking about my mind.)