~ honest. sincere. embarrassing. funny. with a healthy dose of sarcasm. ~

Monday, January 11

Losing It

Ironically, although it feels like it some days, this post is not about my mind.

It's about weight. Yep, it's that time of year when we finish a season of stuffing our mouths and loosening our belts, and then say "Shit, I should have had some more self control." Except I also have baby weight to add to that belt. Not fun.

I am tired of hearing 'Oh, don't worry - you just had a baby' because I know that due to my lack of self control and will power I was 20 pounds more than what I wanted to be BEFORE I got pregnant. So now, not only do I have to worry about the 'baby weight' but also the pounds that had crept up on me before that.

I have no excuses. I have a treadmill in the basement that I convinced my husband I needed - instead of a gym membership. Because we live so far out in the middle of nowhere the cost to drive to the gym would have exceeded the monthly membership and I couldn't justify spending that much on a gym. So we bought a treadmill. And might I just add while we are on the subject - did you know that you can use the treadmill for so many other things? Clothes rack, storage shelf and it's a beautiful, inconspicuous focal point in any room. It's great, really.

And yet, with it staring me in the face everytime I go down stairs - I have been willfully avoiding any eye contact with it, whatsoever.

But like so many others in the new year - I decided it was time. And now I have started the routine toward reaching my goal. Eating better and exercising - it definitely sounds so simple. Except it is anything but simple.  I have decided that I am just one of those people that will never get away with eating what I want and not exercising. And the worst part about having to lose this much is that 1-2 lbs a week seems so SLOW when you look at the big numbers.

Almost ten years ago I was in the same boat. Just had a baby, gained weight after I had the baby (who does that!?) and decided that was enough. I went to the gym and lost 50 lbs. It's like I'm living my life on repeat.

Except, I'm not twenty this time. This time - I'm almost thirty. And it's going to be so much different. I have been organizing my closet and found some old pictures from when I was at my goal weight -- I've decided to plaster them around the house so that I can see where I can be. A little bit of healthy incentive. Maybe I should enlarge one and tape it to the door of the fridge. Maybe?

I'll keep you updated on my progress. Whether I am doing well towards my goal -- or completely losing it. (This time, I'm talking about my mind.)

1 comment:

Emily Stephen said...

Welcome back Jess!!.... xo