~ honest. sincere. embarrassing. funny. with a healthy dose of sarcasm. ~

Tuesday, April 13


....is definitely taken for granted before you have kids. I can barely remember what it feels like to sit and read a book. And yet they grow so fast that I find myself consciously stopping throughout the day and saying "This doesn't last forever." Both reassuring myself that I can make it through this day - because the days won't always be this hard. But also in the sense that I know I should cherish the little things -  Remember this time when they are sweet and innocent - Breathe this moment in.

I had a fight with Tim tonight.

It was a heart breaking, tear jerking fight - not a yelling fight. But it was the first time that I had not been on speaking terms with my child. And it broke my heart.

I won't get into everything - I would bore you to death. But I will say that with Garnet working evenings this week - I feel a little more stressed. Tim went to an after school program with his friend, then had another friend over for a few hours. When it was time for his friend to go home Tim decided to whine and argue about it, then decided to whine and argue about doing his chore (emptying out the dishwasher), then decided to whine and complain and ARGUE MORE about getting ready for bed.

He is growing up so fast - right now the huge issue around here is bedtime. He is one of those kids that NEEDS his sleep. If he goes a few days without enough sleep - he is a bear. We have always been very big on bedtime. When he was young he was in bed at 7 - and it's only been the last 2 or 3 years that we have started to be more lenient on bedtime. I still think that he should be going to bed at a reasonable time - he thinks that he should be allowed to stay up as late as his friends. (Sidenote; what possesses a parent to think that a 9 year old should be allowed to stay up until 11pm ON A SCHOOL NIGHT?! Am I overreacting - or is this absolutely ridiculous?!)

The other issue around here? ARGUING. ABOUT. EVERYTHING.

Kids really are the ultimate paybacks - because Garnet and I are huge arguers. In fact, (Mom, I should warn you to close your eyes, plug your ears and sing lalalalala) we actually find arguing a healthy form of foreplay. But, similar to our sarcasm, it doesn't come across as nice from the mouth of a child. And we are trying to nip this in the bud with him - before he thinks that it's going to get him anywhere.

So the night didn't fair well. I was totally pissed and had to bring attention to the fact that not only did I have to keep his baby brother up an hour past his bedtime - but also had to drag him out in his cozy pj's after his bath -- to drop Tim's friend off. And all I got was arguing and the whole "Tsk....EXAGERRATED SIGH....rolling of the eyes....whatever, Mom" bit. I was not impressed.

We did have a heart to heart - after I cooled down. He was able to share his frustration and voice his feelings. Turns out kids make fun of other kids who have responsible parents and send their kids to bed at a reasonable time. Turns out I have a few words for these kids. And maybe their parents as well.

Turns out I really don't like fighting with my little boy. Turns out I wish he could stay little forever and nights like this are a rude awakening as to just how fast he's growing up. Next, we'll be fighting about his curfew out on date night with his girlfriend.

And cue more tears. Great.


Anonymous said...

.... it is true that some battles are better to walk away from - but you are doing the right thing this time by standing your ground! ... it takes more work to be a responsible parent then (ahem) the 'other type of parenting' out there... Bed time is a serious issue, and part of the reason why so many kids are reckless, disrespectful and rude.... I know what I'm like when I'm tired - imagine piling that on to the every day developmental crap that comes with just being a kid! Tim will thank you one day (not exactly sure when that day will be) for battling it out, sticking to your guns and being the dedicated, loving and responsible parent that you are...

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Flying high in the sky.... said...

i am a mother... and i perfectly empathise with you..this too shall pass...i know not talking to your kid can be soooooooooo heartbreaking.........hope everything is alrigh now

take care

Eric Alder said...

Your child's behavior is all part of him growing up and learning to express his independence, which is always a struggle for mothers.

It's perfectly normal for him to push his boundaries, which means you've raised him well and he's self-confident. (Worry more if he doesn't rebel at all)

By the way, the story of how you met your husband was delightful and it made me smile. Thanks for sharing it. :)

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London said...

Oh the thrill of victory and the agony of defeat!?!

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