HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

It's my mom's birthday today - she's 29 for the 24th year now ;). You're still as beautiful as ever mom - enjoy your day and make sure you get spoiled...Love you xoxoxox


Mom and Me

More Sliding!!

Found a bigger hill in Sarnia!

All ready to go!

Looks cozy on the sled guys!

Mom's turn!!


We had such a good time - there are only 2 hills in Sarnia and Tim has been too little to try this one before but we decided he was big enough this year! He went by himself a few times and he looked so cute dragging the sled up the hill!! We'll have to wait for more snow to go again because the top of the hill was all dirt! I guess I take advantage of growing up with hills all over the place - instead of 2 hills used by the entire city!!
I'll put more pictures up on the Imageevent Album with some videos too.

Bruised bum

Tim and I went sliding today....it was so much fun. Yes, there is actually a hill in Sarnia! I think he only stopped giggling to take a breath every one in a while. I didn't get any pictures (I know, I can hear the gasp...) but that's because I didn't want to hurt the camera on the hill. We only had crazy carpets and Tim got a kick out of going backwards for most of the time. But he got so scared the first time he went by himself because his mitten fell off and he did a few summer saults. So the two of us were packed onto the Crazy Carpet together...which resulted in my butt being off the carpet half the time - which is why it's so painful to sit here right now. But I'd go out there with him again in a second!! In fact, we'll probably be out there again tomorrow! Kids bring out the best in life!!

Who makes the rules?

I really want to know who made it 'right' for us to hold back and bite our tongue and say only what people want to hear. Who said that the automatic answer for "how are you?" has to be "fine, how are you?" Why is it proper for us to pretend that everything is fine when we really want to tell it like it is?

Granted, I would probably have fewer friends if I always said what I was thinking - and people might look at me a little funny when I responded to the 'how are you?' with my true feelings somedays. But lately I just feel that the masks are so heavy and the smiles are so fake. While I was talking to a friend today I wanted to scream and hit them, just to bring them back to reality - but instead I smiled and pretended to be happy for them and support them...all the while wondering why I was doing it. And I realized...I was doing it because someone made the rule that it's better for us to suffer in silence and put on a happy face than be honest. And so I'm mad at whoever made the rule.

Tim comes home talking about how he didn't want to be so-and-so's friend today at school or they didn't want to be his. He can be so honest and real sometimes it's truly refreshing to be around him. He doesn't hesitate to tell me when I look funny - or when I look beautiful. He doesn't think about how it will affect me before he tells me how he feels about something. He tells me when my cooking sucks, and when it's really good.
And I love him just as much on the days that I'm a 'funny looking bad cook that made him mad' -- as I do on the days when I'm a 'beautiful chef that made him happy'.

So I wonder; where along the way are we taught that we can't tell the truth? When did we become so sensitive that we can't handle the truth? Why is it so hard for us to admit when we've failed, or when we think someone else has? Why can't we reach out for a helping hand when we need it instead of reaching for the mask to hide the tears?

I'm definitely not saying we should walk around and be brutally honest, trying to hurt. I'm just saying that if honesty was appreciated and respected....we wouldn't need to be hurt by it. We would see how much it is needed. We wouldn't need the appearance of perfection to feel strong, we could have strength in knowing we can ask for help...and not be thought of any less because we asked for it.

Mother Theresa said
"Honesty and transparency make you vulnerable. Be honest and transparent anyway."

I just wish it were that easy for us.

xo J

Mellow Yellow...er white?

Hilsy and Tim

Building the tower...

Taller than Tim

Tickles from Pickles

Burried

Lots of shoveling to do!!


We had a very nice weekend with Hillary. I love that she is so close now - and we can steal her anytime we want (when her social life allows :)

Garnet and I have decided that in the interest and health of our marriage we would try and go on a date once a month - so Hillary was our first babysitter for our new tradition. It was a nice night out for the two of us - we don't get that very often. Hillary seems to think we are an old boring married couple because we stopped by Wal-Mart for some shopping when we had time between dinner and our movie....just trying to keep the excitement high :)

We were all very relaxed and had a much needed quiet weekend alone. Garnet and Tim spent hours building Lego towers, Hillary and I camped out on the futon for as long as we could. Outside there was a 3 day blizzard! It was crazy - the roads were horrible and we didn't feel like doing anything outside. When the boys were finally satisfied with their tower they went outside to shovel and build a snow fort.

It's nice to do nothing once in a while! (Sorry to Hillary that cleaning was even too much exertion for us...the house is clean now - promise! ;)

xo J

Little Model

Well, I realize that I take a million pictures of my son -- but obviously it's because he's so eager to pose. Here is a nice shot of his class having their PJ/Popcorn Party....and I wasn't even there so you can't blame me for taking it!!
http://bridgeview.lkdsb.net/Principals%20Page.htm (scroll to the bottom of the page to see the pictures)

A Sucker for Memories

Obviously, there are times in everyone's life that we wish we could revisit and do it differently, say something different or just change the whole experience all together. Or truly painful times in our lives when we try to remember how we even survived it. We cringe as it plays in our mind, and we wish it never happened. We all have those.

But I just got a reminder email from good ol' Nathan that reminded me about the other memories. The memories that you wish you could go back to just so you could be in that moment one more time. A memory so awesome that you revisit it on a down day and it makes you smile. I love those. Something as simple as a "Jessi, Jessi, Bo, Bessi" on an old note from the Chippewa Conference brings me back and I'm there again. Thanks Nathan. There's so many good memories with you in them.

I was blessed with a lot of those great memories, friends and smiles. And I'm thankful for all of them. It's amazing how life works, because as each day goes by I am even learning to be thankful for the bad ones too. I'm finding that I can only grow as a person if I can look in my life and learn from every experience...the good and the bad. The pain and sadness are just as involved as the pleasure and smiles in making me who I am. And I kinda like who I am ;)

So I'll keep trying to say "what am I supposed to learn from this?" every time I hurt - and I'll say "always remember this" to myself when I'm smiling because it's so nice to go back and have fun times to remember for a moment to bring an instant smile!

an excerpt from a poem I wrote a few years ago;
Growth comes from pain.
Knowledge comes from experience.
Healing comes from facing the wounds...

xo J

Little Helper

Tim is busy washing the dishes

So proud of himself!

I didn't know washing the dishes could be such fun for anyone! Tim asked (begged) to help me tonight and I decided to take him up on the offer! He was so cute - and so proud of himself!! I guess I should enjoy this...before he's a teenager and I have to beg him just to get out of bed in the morning :)

p.s. Yes, we do dress our child (occasionally) - he's in his PJ's from his popcorn/PJ party at school today!

Working together...

Building...

Working Hard...

Testing...if it holds me - it's fine for the boxes!

Garnet and I needed more storage space for all our Christmas decorations - so we decided to utilize the space under the stairs to build a shelf to put all the bins. And yes, he actually let me use his tools and do some of it (despite his intermittent, 'loss of control' heart attacks!!)

Remembering Brian

Some friends of Brian have put together a website to remember him. He died tragically in a Ski-Doo accident last week. I knew him as one of the little guys in my church, and his brother Andrew is one of the nicest, most genuine people I know. Brian obviously touched a lot of lives... http://in-memory-of-brian.tripod.com/

Tim's Story

Tim wrote a story about being sick - it says "sick, medicine, doctor"

Yep, it's official...

He's my son!
Like the chubby cheeks and bad temper weren't enough, we found out that Tim is allergic to Advil today. I've been allergic to ASA, Aspirin and Advil most of my life -- but we thought Tim had inherited Garnet's 'healthy' genes. He's had a sore throat and fever for the last 2 days and I thought he just had tonsilitis for the kazillionth time. So we were giving him Children's Advil for the fever and pain. He broke out in a huge rash all over his face and body and I decided to take him to emerg....where we got the news. Along with Strep Throat! Poor little guy.

He won't ever sleep with us unless he's sick, so we're all running on a few hours of interrupted sleep and fighting for the blankets.....but that's just another joy of parenting - and I love it too!!

xo J

Why?

Sometimes thats all I can say, Why?.... What's the point?

We are told that there's a reason for everything. But there seems to be too much of the unreasonable lately. We've all been seeing the horror of the Tsunami on the news the past week. Our little friend Julia will only be 1 year old tomorrow - she has been fighting against cancer half of her life. And last night I found out a boy that I knew growing up has died in a Ski-Doo accident, he was only 18.

I don't understand.

It has made me appreciate all that I have and the health of my family. But I can't comprehend what the people going through those circumstances are supposed to learn, or even how they are supposed to cope. It makes me think of all the selfish things I've done and when I've wanted something more than I have...or been ungrateful for what I do have. But it doesn't seem like enough compared to their pain. And I don't think there's even an answer for the Why?....but I can't say anything else.

xo J

Kitchen

Work in progress...

2 days before Christmas!

Home Ownership...

There's a certain pride that comes when you buy your own place. You know it's yours, and that you've worked hard to own it. We now have a basement rec room for Tim to play in and the toys can be all over and I'm not scrambling to pick them up every 5 minutes. We have our upstairs bedrooms that people don't even have to see when they come over. We have room to escape from eachother, because everyone knows - no matter how wonderful your marriage is or your children are....you need your own space now and then. It truly is great.
But there's a lot of responsibilities and surprises that come along too -- and I think we've had every single one imaginable!
The week before Christmas our whole kitchen was ripped apart to make room for our fridge. There was mess everywhere. I went to work one morning and told my boss I thought I had a chunk of drywall in my coffee....he laughed, until I found it and pulled it out to show him. We spent Christmas eve cleaning the drywall dust and mud off everything imaginable.
New years eve Garnet spent hanging over the toilet -- no, not from drinking too much -- but rather from trying to repair a 'leak'. By the time he had realized it was just condensation it was too late - the screws had been tightened too much and the tank cracked.
And of course because my husband is a complete obsessive compulsive perfectionist -- he has found a million other things to 'fix' that haven't been done to his ideal standard.
But even with all of these wonderful 'surprises' and interruptions in our plans - it's not even comparable to the little apartments that we've had. Sure, they were easy. If something was broken we called someone to come and fix it and never saw the bill, we weren't concerned if the lights were on in the middle of the day or if we had a 25 minute shower.....but it wasn't ours.

And so we laugh about all of this and all the many other experiences we've had. Because of the wonderful feeling that comes with knowing our money every month is going into our "bigger-better-house-fund" instead of into some rich apartment building owner's pocket!
We still want to paint every room and fix up the basement, bathrooms and the kitchen.....all in due time. But for now we shrug our shoulders and laugh about the stories we'll have about our first house together!

xo J

Tim and Jess on Christmas Day 

A New Year...A New Blog

In following the current trend I've decided to start a Blog. I love the fact that I can keep in touch with people through my pictures - but this way I can write and keep a journal of things going on, or just things on my mind as well. And since photography and writing are my two favorite things to do....now I can share them both with all my loved ones.

I can't believe it's already 2005. Life has flown by these last few years. I can't believe this year I will turn 25 celebrate my fifth anniversary with Garnet and have a 5 year old son. That sounds so old! I don't believe in New Year's Resolutions, I feel they are a set up for a let down. I work at the Y and we call it the "Resolution Rush" right now -- for about a month you can't get anywhere in that place. It feels like there are about a million new members. And then in about mid-February it's all back to normal, with the regulars overjoyed that they can finally get on the treadmills without a 1/2 hour wait.
However, with all that said - I do like the idea of a New Year and a fresh start to get into a routine. Since we have moved I feel like we've been running around crazy with no routine. So I am hoping to get back into my routine, get back on a schedule - and even be one of those to get back into working out regularly.....uh, but no resolutions!
Although- now that I'll be turning 25 in a few weeks - maybe I'll have to look into a few things to keep the fountain of youth alive ;)

xo J