~ honest. sincere. embarrassing. funny. with a healthy dose of sarcasm. ~

Monday, November 6

Warning; Graphic content due to the nature of marriage!

Because this is a family friendly blog (ie. mom and dad are loyal readers) it's not going to get too graphic -- but the title still got you reading, didn't it? Now, I'll try to be good.....

It shouldn't be a surprise to anyone that Garnet and I don't shy away from conflict. We are both passionate human beings and if we are feeling it - it's out there. Whether it be little low blows in the comment section or in person, we can both dish it out pretty good. With a strong sense of humour and the ability to laugh at ourselves we've made it pretty fun amidst the conflict living with fire and earth over here.

With Hillary living here - someone with completely different views on conflict - we tried for about a week to be really sweet and nice - but that week is over now. She thinks it's hilarious that while we may be screaming one minute - we can just as easily be making out the next. This is an essential to us. Why? Because you have to be able to separate yourself from conflict in a way that - no matter how pissed off I am that he left his boots in front of the door for me to trip over again - that doesn't change the fact that I love him. In our opinion, if I held it in everytime he left his boots there - give me a couple of months and I'd be boiling mad, bitter and angry....and he'd have no clue why. (Obviously, I'm using the boot analogy in lieu of more serious matters, so you get the point - without me spilling every ounce of personal conflict on the blog, right?) If I get it out there while it's happening, he sees me flat on my ass because of his boots - knows why I'm mad - says he'll try not to leave them there - and we move on to the other important stuff.....like making out. (Just kidding, mom)

We are never unsure where the other one stands on something, we always know why the other one is mad, and we don't have ulcers. See? - it's a win-win situation.

However, sometimes the fights are just plain silly and ridiculous and also a necessity in a weird foreplay kind of way. And I'm apologizing in advance for all the ways that we are permanently scarring my poor little sister.

Last night Garnet was blatently hogging the remote. He was watching a really good movie which I didn't mind - and on commercials was switching it over to UFC. A sport which I think is just a bad case of repressed homosexuality, but that's a whole other blog in itself.
When the movie and UFC were over - he got up, went to the computer....and took the remote with him. So I called him on his jack-assness and said "Hey, you can't hog the computer and the TV! Give me the remote!"

It turned into a wrestling match over the remote - resulting in the computer being shut off, the tv being blocked and excessive amount of evil laughter. Then it got ugly when the tickling started. Garnet knows that tickling is the ultimate way to render me helpless, as I turn into a heaping ball of screams on the floor.

Somewhere between the helpless screams and torturous tickles I yelled out the threat of death for any male on the planet. Very descriptively detailing where I was going to connect if he didn't stop.

He didn't stop. So I connected.

Three octives higher he threatened a purple nurple, because I found his pain so funny. When my evil cackles didn't stop - he followed through.

Holding my painful chest, I stated the obvious that this could have all been avoided if he had just given up the remote.

He threw it at me, I caught it and said "Yeah, that's right, sucka!"

Hillary, through tears of laughter and shock, from the chair in the corner of the room; "And I missed Pita Pit for this...."


vicki said...

Can't wait to hear Hilsy's version...and comment...she'll survive...
xo Mom

Hilsy said...

oh i am surviving alright...as long as they allow me to stay in this wonderful soft, very white room and this comfy jacket (*as i rock back and forth...*)...lol
good times! ;)

Jenni said...

Good times, at least your laughing!
Hilary, you can borrow my white jacket anytime, being from my family we have a few!!


Anonymous said...

Jessica - you're sick and twisted...

Jessi said...

well, i try.
it's a life long goal, really.

Anonymous said...

HA! aside from the pain i'm sure you both felt, that was a very humorous story. thanks for the giggle :)

Michelle said...

what, you're not supposed to stew in your resentment and anger?!